the girl with kaleidoscope eyes' Journal

2:19am: Suck the life back INTO me
I have the tendency to over think and self reflect A LOT. Tonight, I thought about my former self before I left to move overseas. I figured what better way to reconnect with the happy parts of my past? ...hanging around some of the best people I ever met before I left Vegas.

I have been reading old blog entries I wrote back in 2008 and couldn't stop laughing and hyperventilating reading this.
http://hellakitty.livejournal.com/411977.html

Yes, more, please.

3:55pm: Everything entertaining happens on the bus...
A man enters a bus with a walking stick he carved from a tree.

Random lady, "It's like one of those crime scenes on CSI Miami or Criminal Minds...imagine the stick and a murder victim. I be solving mysteries and sh+t!"

God bless America!
<3

12:55am: Life in Seattle!
Today, we had coffee and crepes and spoke to a nice Lebanese Frenchman about the diversity of America and the laws put in place to protect those facing discrimination and harrassment. I purchased vintage strawberry plates. An A-line dress. The sun was shining in a normally cloudy city. I drank sangria and ate Mexican food. I spilled water on my coat and then FELL on my knees as I exited a building. The slopey footpath made my boots skid down low. I always scrape myself! I watched a few episodes of Gossip Girl and cheerleader'd my husband over the super annoying and frustrating act of job searching! AH! I miss you Hayley! <3

10:38pm: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh girl
I just spent the last half hour wasting time reading old blog entries laughing at how stupidly funny life used to be, fawning over old photos with Remington and the Monday night crew. I used to be really funny, well at least sarcastic on this blog. The archives are filled with memoirs and silly stories. I am absolutely not myself right now. Being so isolated has deeply affected my personality, and it takes a very long time for me to open up and be comfortable. I think this move will be the best thing for me. New Zealand is beautiful, and I've had some great memories here, but I don't see myself staying here any longer. And there's nothing wrong with that. Some people are compatible with different places. For some, USA would never be home to them, but it is truly home for me. For some, people could NEVER live in Las Vegas, and that's perfectly reasonable. Whatever suits you!

Ahhhh, now back to focusing on those random stories and being happy again.

9:47pm: Eat, Pray, Love
I am currently reading Eat, Pray, Love, and it is amazing how neurotic this woman is... And how I am so much like her (well at least the first third of the book!) since living in isolation millions of miles away from everyone I know. I have been looking at photos of old friends, surrounded by loved ones, and I can't wait to UNDO this part of myself. I am very capable of a lot of things. And I can't wait to come back.

Oh, I am also officially moving back to the USA on April 17th. SEE YOU!!!!

1:51am: the old typical nights
Although, I don't miss my old irregular sleeping schedule/jacked up work life, I miss the slow-moving time in the West Coast. I loved carefree and open days without a nagging agenda nor uptight atittudes existing. If your night resulted with you at Fresco at 5AM when the sky started to turn blue, that was okay. Nobody cared about how shattered they'd be the next day because they were living in the moment. And nobody gave a damn about what you "should be doing." It wasn't all "for show." All these stupid unwritten rules and hyper-etiquette now exists because of hyper-sensitive people with too much access to technology and social networking.

9:25pm: The three amigos
Last year, a Canadian man temporarily worked with us. We became friends instantly. Everybody thought he was "SOOOOOOO WEIRD!" Funnily enough, we got each others humour and bantered continuously. That explains everything.

My other two lovely friends at work moved to the USA in the last year. Well damn!

6:29pm: My stance on this will never change
If you're really sarcastic, snarky, the eye-rolling-scoffing-type, "too cool," enjoy laughing at other peoples separate interests or misfortunes, making fun of other people for horrifically superficial reasons and find pleasure in mistreating other people as if they are below you...move along. Good luck with that, it'll hold you back in life. You lack respect. I don't serve your kind here! Now you'll never have to wonder why! I'm far too busy hanging out with people who aren't like you. Cheers! :)

9:29pm: Going The Distance
Happy New Year! 2012 is going to be a big shocker, that's for sure :)

I meant to write about this for the last year. On the way home from our honeymoon in Singapore/Philippines last January, I watched Going The Distance on the plane. When I first saw this preview, it made me cringe thinking it looked horrifically cheesy. Well I was wrong, I actually loved it. I wanted Chris to watch it with me! And that's exactly what we did on Valentine's Day. We had a picnic on the floor eating pizza, drinking wine, sitting on top of a gingham tablecloth. :)

I didn't hit me as hard until the second time around. For those of you that have had the misery (or joy) of being in a long-distance relationship, I think this movie holds it's own. It highlights all of the sacrifices you make for each other. Hypothetical situations: people who want to give up, those who don't, those who will readily hold themselves back from their life goals, the person who won't budge, and the person who's resented. And then eventually the compromises you make in the end. Hopefully it's all worth it for you. I cried so hard.

It has Justin Long, Charlie Day and Jason Sudeikis. Dreamboats <3




Photos from
here and here and here

At university, I took dozens of courses on every type of communication possible. I specifically remember a lecture on the differences of long-distance romance and long-distance friendship. Yes, it's amazing how there's actually research on this topic! From what I can remember, long distance romances are meant to be temporary. Without a proper plan or future goal to be in the same place, the romance may not flourish. To keep a friendship going, you'll need to be in contact at least once every three years.

9:38pm: YEAR IN REVIEW 2011
Go to your calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2011. post the first line of it in your journal, and that's your "Year in Review".

JANUARY:
Hi, I'm in Singapore!

FEBRUARY:
For years & years, there was all kinds of madness being built near the Bellagio.

MARCH:
Today I was listening to "Sad Eyes" by Josh Rouse, sitting approximately 1.5 feet away from the person next to me at the train station.

APRIL:
Today we had our second breakfast/brunch with Gabby up in Silverdale.

MAY:
I'm a pretty big Third Eye Blind fan, and I'm not being sarcastic here.

JUNE:
My dear friends, I'm going home to visit Las Vegas in August!

JULY:
I went to Wellington this weekend and had the most fun I've had in a very long time!

AUGUST:
Penny moved to Seattle, so we took her out for a farewell lunch.

SEPTEMBER:
Back in March, we had a lovely day hanging out in Devonport with Kimia and Graham.

OCTOBER:
Sometimes ending something is just as scary as beginning all over again.

NOVEMBER:
Pretty soon, I will have so much to blog and write about.

DECEMBER:
I was 14 when I listened to these lyrics.

2:57pm: f2f
I was 14 when I listened to these lyrics. Nothing much has changed. People are still the same. I only try to surround myself with the good ones.


you don't know what you want to be
you don't know what you want to do
never going to amount to much of anything
so what's the difference if you win or lose?
well that's something
well isn't that something
you've done nothing wrong and it's never your fault
you've done nothing

don't care where your friends have gone
because you never really needed them anyway
never going to be exactly who you are
because you try too hard to be just like them
well that's something
well isn't that something
you've done nothing wrong and it's never your fault
you've done nothing

you've got brains in your head
feet in your shoes
you can steer yourself
any way you choose
well you're on your own
and you know what you know
and it's up to you to decide, to decide where you'll go
well that's something
don't you even try cause it's something that you can't deny

you've done nothing wrong and it's never your fault
you've done nothing

11:01am: The Creative Types
Last night we went to dinner at a place I've never been to before, hanging out with an old acquaintance of ours. Our friend took us to his friend, who's also a creative type. And there we sat inside a modern advertising agency after hours. We had a few drinks. I looked at the city. We talked about Mad Men, consumerism, art, Poland, the NZ election, etc. etc. None of it pretentious. I'm so glad it happened. Too bad it took three years to sit down with these doods.

There is this guy at work who stands up at a high table bench, while reading books on his lunch break. This guy is so awesome. No bullshit or trivial conversation; he's reading a book and doesn't want to be bothered. I want to be this guy.

If I have another conversation about competitive baking, people who ridicule other people's diets and weight or people making fun of other people from the cruelness of their cold hearts, I might just break down. Seriously, just get it over with and kill me.

10:28pm: My Heart Exploding


Kermit the Frog & Bret McKenzie!
I am over the moon :)

11:09pm: I can't stop listening to this!!!!!

11:08pm: waikato times & other thoughts
Pretty soon, I will have so much to blog and write about. I won't need to filter myself as much. And all will be lovely. What a goddamn relief. Goodbye bad vibes!

On another note...here's us hanging out in the countryside for mother-in-law's birthday :)

11:16pm: Can you believe it?
It's been exactly 3 years today when I moved to Auckland, New Zealand! My life is going to change drastically! very soon.

10:16pm: Just something that the east coast does to me makes me forget who I am...
I can't believe this was from seven years ago...

10:03pm: Moving Forward
The next 6 months will be extremely exciting and distracting in a good way.

Diwali was fun.
Colette & Regan will be here for Rugby World Cup finale
Jeff's birthday
My birthday and big trip
Thanksgiving dinner tradition
LSL visits
Audrey will be here for X-mas
Big Day Out
Chris' birthday
Rakesh visits

Dear LJ,

I love writing here. Because of you, I'm connected with my closest friends.
Unfortunately, this LJ turns into a big pile of nothing without those meaningful connections.
Right now, I'm surviving with a handful of interactions, mostly long distance. Jermee asked me why I was so quiet!
I don't know why. I'm not myself! I hate it so much. GET ME BACK THERE!

Yours truly,
JV

9:58pm: I can't wait to wake up after all of this
sub·dued   /səbˈdud, -ˈdyud/ Show Spelled[suhb-dood, -dyood] Show IPA
adjective
1. quiet; inhibited; repressed; controlled: After the argument he was much more subdued.
2. lowered in intensity or strength; reduced in fullness of tone, as a color or voice; muted: subdued light; wallpaper in subdued greens.
3. (of land) not marked by any striking features, as mountains or cliffs: a subdued landscape.

12:40am: celebrate individuality & innovation
The title is cliche, but it's amazing how many people get lost in trying to fit in and be the same as everybody else.

12:15am: Your views & Mine
I usually avoid talking about my diet/being vegetarian because I'm not really in an environment where people can really accept that. It also irks me that people like to talk about my weight and dieting in general on a daily basis. Someone laughed and said it'd catch up to me one day. Well, I feel horribly sad for this person to think that they find pleasure and relief in thinking that people will one day gain weight (JUST LIKE THEM! HAH). I am who I am. I'm healthy, and if you're going to attempt make me feel bad about who I am and the way I look. Well, that's not going to happen. If this is the way you think, you can go f_ck your evil medusa self.

Sometimes I get the misfortune of sitting next to a staunch anti-vegan/anti-vegetarian EAT meat supporter. In my head I'm thinking, "Here we go with this shit again..."

I respect other peoples views and lifestyle decisions, but when you're encroaching on my personal beliefs and forcing your views down my throat, that's where you can go screw yourself.

Dear narrow minded idiot,
I'm not offended that you eat meat, but I'm offended at the fact that you can't accept my own personal choice. I don't nit pick the crap you eat everyday.

I read this blog entry today and though it was perfectly timed:
http://uneviegeniale.blogspot.com/2011/10/tofu-granola.html

I'm not the type of person who needs a million people around me to feel better about myself. I'd rather sit by myself and be alone than be bothered by a bunch of annoying ass self-absorbed stupid people. QUALITY. Chris Conley said it right the first time, "I choose my company by the beating of their hearts not the swelling of their heads."

Where's Jermee? He'd enjoy a good old JV rant and laugh. :)

9:23pm: well well well
Sometimes ending something is just as scary as beginning all over again.

9:25pm: Hi, I'm still alive!


All of the sudden it's 5 years later, and I'm hanging out in Seattle! Lady C and I are still doing our Edie arabesques. We're not wearing our Edie shirts here. I'm not dating a douchebag :)




I miss my friends so much! I'm not the same here without them. I'm going to work on that. It's going to change! Because. It. Will.




"i'm gonna throw on these old jeans i'm gonna head out on the street
i'm gonna dream up a new dream and i'm gonna dance to a brand new beat
i'm gonna find a new desire then i'm gonna set this town on fire
i'm wearing a smile and it's fake but right now it has to be
cause i know that love is the only thing that's gonna save me
i'm gonna try"

10:17pm: Ten years on...


I'm still alive. I still love this band. I'm still friends with Kevin Lehmann. We both loved this band ten years ago! My heart still hurts thinking about what happened on this day ten years ago...and what has happened since then.

Music was so much better in the early millenium.

xo
jv

10:25pm: Blogspot



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